Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Varied / Hobbyist Jeramiah20/Male/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 248 Deviations 272 Comments 6,457 Pageviews
×

Newest Deviations

Literature
Thread Of Life
I'm too afraid to tell you I'm terrified.
I'm so used to lying, I can't tell you the truth.
My feet are poised at the edge of a cliff
My mind is hanging by the thread of this noose
That I fashion for myself
Out of every time I've held my tongue
Oh why haven't I just let myself speak?
Too fat to eat.
Too tired to sleep.
You deserve to start.
You don't deserve dreams.
My reasoning is flawed, I know this.
I don't know why I'm even still here
Am I afraid of blackness or am I afraid of fear?
I'm barely holding on to my thread of an existence.
What is forgiveness, I've never know such a kindness.
Don't cry, it's alright, don't let them know your weak
Don't give in no one can hurt me but me
It's all my fault please don't notice me
I'm all alone in the darkness and there is no one to blame but me
I'm sorry
It's my fault
I'm too weak
I can't hold on
I can't sleep
Who am I?
Where am I?
What's going on?
What is this?
I'm sorry.
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 2 0
Mature content
Serial Suicides :icontintedlies:tintedlies 1 1
Literature
The phone number you have called is no longer in s
There is a reason you blocked my number, but I don't know what it is.
Just like there is a reason we don;t talk any more and my heart keeps saying it's me.
And I know there is no reason it should have happened  this way but my head keeps telling me I'm wrong.
I know that I miss you.
And that I always will.
I can remember hugging you and your heart starting to race and not knowing why
I can remember your blue eyes and how Blonde hair can be deceiving.
I wish I could forget you but in a way you helped me grow.
Everyday I think about you, and I know I shouldn't
I miss you.
Why did you have to say good bye?
Was our friendship so terrible that when you moved away you had cast me out like yesterdays coffee?
Or did you find someone else to brighten your day?
I'm too afraid to call you from my new cell phone because I am scared you will remember my voice and hang up...
My mother told me that you loved me, and that that was wrong.
All I know is I can still remember how your hugs felt.
And
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 2 0
Literature
It's just a phase
It's been 6 years since I came out. Do you still think it is a phase?
I was an innocent little child full of hope and wonder
now all I wonder is why you can't just see who I really am
Did something change from the doe-eye baby you taught his first steps?
Have you forgotten that I was supposed to be your legacy?
I looked up to and idolized you and now I'm ashamed to be your child
Not ashamed of our relation but that I've never been good enough for you
disappointed in my short comings because I just wanted to make you proud
I'm your son... and yet you still call me your daughter.
I was your baby and now I'm just your burden
you used to smile when you saw me and now all I see in your eyes is sadness
Did you have different plans for me?
Did you think I would grow up to be something more?
Or in your eyes something better?
I'm sorry you think this is just a phase.
I don't see myself as you do and I'm not going to change.
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 3 3
Literature
Midnight Murder Mystery
I woke to find you standing above me
A gun in hand, but the barrel was empty
I promised I would never hurt you
But you never said you would never hurt me
Now I have come to realize that I am going to die
I have come to terms that everything I know is a lie
I realize this may all be a dream
So, someone come and pinch me please
Is this just the beginning?
What is going on my head is spinning?
What if everything is ending?
Let it be quick, your smile is condescending.
I know now that you were never mine
but you knew that I was always yours
I am screaming, can't you hear my plea?
I am falling apart, if you opened your eyes you would see
Now I have come to realize that I am going to die
I have come to terms that everything I know is a lie
I realize this may all be a dream
So, someone come and pinch me please
I am so afraid what did I ever do?
Why is this happening, can this be true?
I am so confused what did I ever do?
I know, I never stopped loving you...
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 1 0
Literature
Four am contemplation
If I lied to you would you know?
would my eyes show you the fault in my integrity
Am I a monster for being so hidden?
or am I trying to prolong my destruction
I long for acceptance
but I feed on my solitude
it fuels my depression
gives me an explanation to my sadness
without it, I would be nothing
with it I am no one
what is wrong with me
am I falling past blame
My memories I try so hard to regress
in my dreams the come back to haunt me ever stronger
this one truth I will allow myself
I am not who I appear to be
a shadow of my sanity
a mirage of my integrity
I lost my self in this darkness
a darkness I cannot control
the abyss at my feet is growing
and my fear has begun to show,
tell me does anyone understand
tell me, can anyone hold my hand?
can god guide me to salvation
or the devil, to eternal damnation
I believed in you once and now my heart is failing,
my resolve is waning
I haven't taken my medicine in weeks,
this pain that keeps me awake at night proves to me that I am still ali
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 1 0
Shut The Fuck up, I'm Fabulous by tintedlies Shut The Fuck up, I'm Fabulous :icontintedlies:tintedlies 2 0
Literature
Untitled
Can some one please tell me what is wrong with my head?
These moments are passing, and something keeps telling me I'm better off dead.
I am so set in finding out where I went wrong, and why.
Why must it be so hard to simply say goodbye?
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 2 0
Mature content
City of Pain :icontintedlies:tintedlies 1 3
Literature
The 'rents are the ones with no respect: march2011
Life sucks but i still go on. i say what i think and everyone tells me i wrong. But to tell you the truth. nothing really is "truth". and just because we are young and we think with our hearts. docent give you the right to rip us apart. I'm haunted by dreams. Of things meant to be? Of things my demons want me to see? i wish i could just be who I want to be. I am me. If only that's what you Would see. you tell me im worthless. you tell me in a bitch. that im grateful. i should just go die. in a ditch. But deep down inside. as the years Flyby. Iv come to realize. that you words are just the lies written in poison by your anger. and now my reality goes black as i fade into the dark, world i have built around my self to wash away the blood and the pain. because the rain will not wash it away for me.
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 0 0
Literature
Is it so wrong?: May 1st, 2011
is it so wrong to love someone when they cant stand you. or to love someone even after you've met another. I am i and you are you. but some times i just wish we could be We. and live in harmony. this world fucking sucks. we have to fight for peace. we hate for love. I wish we could all just hold hands and sing. and we could all just live without the pain. but without it were not the same. I wish we could live life with out all the bully's. be called pretty instead of ugly. because you really are the most beautiful person iv ever met. i wish we could be called smart instead of idiot. because your the most intelligent person iv ever met. I wish we could be called cool of weirdo. because your the most fun person iv ever met. I wish we could be called sensitive instead of baby. Because your the sweetest person iv ever met.
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 0 0
Literature
I miss you: September 17th, 2011
I miss you, I miss the sound of your voice in my ears, i miss the way you shake in my arms when you laugh, i miss the way your smile just brightens up my day.. my world..... i miss the way you make me feel , no one could ever make me feel the way you do... i feel complete.... i feel so happy and yet almost scared ... i feel excited and overwhelmed... i feel so many things that its hard to describe... sometimes it makes me fumble over my words..... i miss the way you are.... i miss everything you say... everything you do makes me smile and laugh.... i miss the way you look at me... i just kinda lose myself in your eyes... their so beautiful... i miss us.... i miss holding you in my arms... i miss being stupid with you... i miss listening to music with you whether i like it or not whether you like it or not.... i miss holding your hands.... i miss going on walks ... i miss watching tv over the phone together.... I miss the feeling of your lips on mine... i miss slow dancing with you....
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 0 0
Literature
I Am
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 1 0
Literature
god... : April 7th, 2012
dear god please i need your help. im so frighten and i dont know what to do. i want to do terrible things to myself and end everything. i want to die i want to bleed. i dont want to be upset anymore i just need your help please.. please.... help me lord i need your hands on my heart to help lift me for this rut i have fallen into. i cannot get out no my own though i have tried so hard.,. i dont want to feel the way i do. i want to be happy. i want to be able to believe that you can do anything.. i know toy can i KNOW you can.... I want to make you happy.. i want to glorify you.. i need your help lord, i need you. I need help please.. please... show me what to do. show me what you wish...
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 0 0
Literature
Crying corpses: March 5th, 2011
My life is flashing before my eyes. as you plan my dimize. and iv come to realize, there was no love. you used me beaten and bruised me, abused me torched you choose me. and no matter how hard i try , i cant pick up the pieces of my shattered heart. and with every day i come to realize you never gave a fuck and with every passing day you just take my life away from me. you killing me. i just want to be set free. Why don't you ask me why?! your the one that makes me cry. my tears are turning to blood. iv got nothing left to shove away. theirs no one left for my to cry to . iv got no one to help me. this floor is so dirty. i can't see in front of me. my body trembles at you enter the room! i waiting for it to end. for the eternity of sleep i so wish for. but i cant die! you torch-er me till im ready to finally win. then you fix me so you can make me lose some more. all the pain! im going insane!
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 0 0
Literature
Why?: January 15th, 2011
i was listening to a song its sad but i ... all of a sudden felt like the lyrics weere reading my heart and a face flashed in my mind that had bveen hiding .. i could'nt think of whom it was till i started thinking ,... it was my uncle anmd all of a sudden i was replaying every great time with him that i took from granted when i was a child I wish i could only go back in time and see him one last time .. I just cant belive i let my self forget about some of the times ... Why do we as humans take our lives for granted so much? We just live to the moment and never really try to think about what atually happening when we get hugs or some one says i love you ...
:icontintedlies:tintedlies
:icontintedlies:tintedlies 0 0

Favourites

A Cold Presence by Thediamondintherough A Cold Presence :iconthediamondintherough:Thediamondintherough 21 6 Darkiplier - Hush Little Child by Thediamondintherough Darkiplier - Hush Little Child :iconthediamondintherough:Thediamondintherough 84 14 Commute by GUWEIZ Commute :iconguweiz:GUWEIZ 5,652 118
Literature
Phoenix
From the ashes it rose
Spreading its wonderous wings as it flew
Phoenix flies to blue skies
:iconFairyGal11:FairyGal11
:iconfairygal11:FairyGal11 41 12
Literature
Cutters Lullaby
Go to sleep, and close your eyes,
And dream of broken butterflies
That tore their wings against a thorn.
You know the pain thet they have borne.
Silver metal, shine so bright.
Scarlet blood, that feels so right.
Dream of that blood trickling down,
And wake up just before you drown.
The moonlight's shining off your tears
As you bleed out your own worst fears.
So tonight when you start to cry
Whisper the cutters' lullaby:
Hushabye baby, you're almost dead.
You don't have a pulse and your pillow is red.
Your family hates you, your friends let you bleed.
Sleep tight with a knife, cause it's all that you need.
Rockabye baby, broken and scarred.
You didn't know that life would be this hard.
Time to end the pain that you hid so well,
And down will come baby, straight back to hell
:iconQuintensAngel:QuintensAngel
:iconquintensangel:QuintensAngel 164 41
take shelter by littleulvar take shelter :iconlittleulvar:littleulvar 4,517 92 Kisses Reference Sheet 2 by Kibbitzer Kisses Reference Sheet 2 :iconkibbitzer:Kibbitzer 10,505 135 Expression Intensity Chart by LiLaiRa Expression Intensity Chart :iconlilaira:LiLaiRa 3,692 160 waking hour by NanFe waking hour :iconnanfe:NanFe 1,243 39 5 Stages of Grief by Picolo-kun 5 Stages of Grief :iconpicolo-kun:Picolo-kun 17,796 1,095 Moon by Anna655 Moon :iconanna655:Anna655 114 39 Jellyfish by Anna655 Jellyfish :iconanna655:Anna655 123 34 Tree of Nerves Pen Drawing by AtomiccircuS Tree of Nerves Pen Drawing :iconatomiccircus:AtomiccircuS 5,138 142 Heart Hourglass Pencil Drawing by AtomiccircuS Heart Hourglass Pencil Drawing :iconatomiccircus:AtomiccircuS 1,382 58 Eye color pencil drawing by AtomiccircuS Eye color pencil drawing :iconatomiccircus:AtomiccircuS 1,135 44 Working in the street by AtomiccircuS Working in the street :iconatomiccircus:AtomiccircuS 791 54

Activity


I'm too afraid to tell you I'm terrified.
I'm so used to lying, I can't tell you the truth.
My feet are poised at the edge of a cliff
My mind is hanging by the thread of this noose
That I fashion for myself
Out of every time I've held my tongue
Oh why haven't I just let myself speak?

Too fat to eat.
Too tired to sleep.
You deserve to start.
You don't deserve dreams.

My reasoning is flawed, I know this.
I don't know why I'm even still here
Am I afraid of blackness or am I afraid of fear?
I'm barely holding on to my thread of an existence.
What is forgiveness, I've never know such a kindness.

Don't cry, it's alright, don't let them know your weak
Don't give in no one can hurt me but me
It's all my fault please don't notice me
I'm all alone in the darkness and there is no one to blame but me
I'm sorry

It's my fault
I'm too weak
I can't hold on
I can't sleep

Who am I?
Where am I?
What's going on?
What is this?
I'm sorry.

Mature Content

This content is intended for mature audiences.


or, enter your birth date.*


Month

Day

Year*
Please enter a valid date format (mm-dd-yyyy)
Please confirm you have reviewed DeviantArt's Terms of Service below.
* We do not retain your date-of-birth information.
I can't deal with this today.
I don't want this hurt holding me back.
I hate this holiday.
I don't want to remember what happens when everything around me turns to black.
I'm scared of what I'm becoming but the truth is that I can't hide from what is coming.
I don't know who I am but how can you tell me what I'm not?
I'm a afraid of failure and yet I fail to see happiness where I aught.
I don't understand where I'm going but I keep walking blindly into the road
Because roadkill is a better way to go out than a bullet or a rope on a hill.
I black out sometimes and I find myself on the floor
I was heading out the door but I cant remember why.
I always feel like I want to die but am I just afraid of failure or am I the failure.
Could somebody tell me why?
Why does god let children die.
Who are we here and why can I even ask why?
I hate who I am, trapped in this serial suicide.
Some one is gone and I long to be with them
I'm afraid to lose my family but I rarely think about them.
I sit alone wondering is there even a point to playing along.
Fake smiles, fake laughs, I'd rather bleed out than sing another song.
I can't feel your love I only see your scorn
A crown made of thorns.
Is it so hard for you to apologize when you realize your wrong?
The typos crowd my memory and i feel it may be time for me to move on
Let go of you and forget that i may as well have never happened at all.
And I'm sorry for being honest and the truth is I'm not afraid to die
I'm afraid of being alone.
There is a reason you blocked my number, but I don't know what it is.
Just like there is a reason we don;t talk any more and my heart keeps saying it's me.
And I know there is no reason it should have happened  this way but my head keeps telling me I'm wrong.
I know that I miss you.
And that I always will.
I can remember hugging you and your heart starting to race and not knowing why
I can remember your blue eyes and how Blonde hair can be deceiving.
I wish I could forget you but in a way you helped me grow.
Everyday I think about you, and I know I shouldn't
I miss you.
Why did you have to say good bye?
Was our friendship so terrible that when you moved away you had cast me out like yesterdays coffee?
Or did you find someone else to brighten your day?
I'm too afraid to call you from my new cell phone because I am scared you will remember my voice and hang up...
My mother told me that you loved me, and that that was wrong.
All I know is I can still remember how your hugs felt.
And i miss them.
I miss your laughter, i miss your eyes, i miss you in the moonlight over simple goodbyes.
I miss you.
You've become my addiction now that you're gone, but I'm an adult now.
And I'm not allowed to cry.
The phone number you have called is no longer in s
Title: The Phone Number You Have Called Is No Longer In Service
Loading...
I've been deleting all of my social media the past two weeks. I deleted both of my facebooks and all three of my Gaia accounts.
  • Listening to: Explosions In The Sky

deviantID

tintedlies's Profile Picture
tintedlies
Jeramiah
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Well, my name is Jeramy. I am nineteen I like poetry and music a lot. I don't really know what to say about myself. I am just a weird kid. I'm college trying to become a psychiatrist. I do have a history, I will not go into details on a personal level; but I will say I have been through a bit. And I am always here to talk to people. I want to help others, the help I never got. I really care about people. And I know I may not know you all personally, but I would love to be your friend. (:

bleedingheartsunited.tumblr.co…


Love always, Jeramiah
Interests

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconwilliamsburgexpired:
Williamsburgexpired Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014
hello, its been a while.
Reply
:iconsomesortofmax:
SomeSortofMax Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconthediamondintherough:
Thediamondintherough Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you for the favorite :heart:
Reply
:iconaudes:
AudeS Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014
My apprication goes to you for faving one of my latest photographies.
Reply
:icontintedlies:
tintedlies Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
(:
Reply
:iconkwadryna:
kwadryna Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fave! : D
Reply
:icongutboy560:
gutboy560 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014
Thanks for the fave! :)
Reply
:iconmad-identity:
Mad-Identity Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014
thank you for all the favs, friend
Reply
:icontintedlies:
tintedlies Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
The problem is I would favourite all of your work.. xD
Reply
:iconmad-identity:
Mad-Identity Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014
Heart 
Reply
Add a Comment: